10 ways to flunk your next academic job interview
- Do not find out anything about the
organization to which you are applying. The internet is literally at your
fingertips. If you cannot be bothered to look up anything about the
organization that you supposedly want to join, employers will draw the
appropriate conclusions. One faculty candidate came on a site visit to our
university, but was surprised to learn that we taught undergraduate in addition
to post-graduate classes.
- Bad-mouth your former employers or insult
the country you are in or the academic system itself. This will make it
very clear to your interviewers what to expect if they hire you. There is a
line between constructive criticism born out of a desire to improve the system
and criticism engendered by pessimism, impotent frustration or jealousy. One faculty
candidate claimed during his interview seminar that no university professor in our
country does any research.
- Refuse to share credit with your co-workers.
This will again make it very clear what we can expect if we hire you. One faculty
candidate claimed that he had done 80% of all the work in the papers where he
was listed as the fourth or fifth among multiple authors.
- Take advance credit for future hypothetical
discoveries. In the software development world, we call this “vaporware” –
software that is promised, but doesn’t yet exist. This is surprisingly common
on CVs! Listing submitted papers that are still under review is one thing, but
nothing demonstrates your good intentions, lofty goals and ability to separate
fact from fiction as listing Nature,
manuscript in preparation, among your list of publications, right? Why not
go one step further and list Nobel prize, work in
progress, among your Awards & Honors?
- Address your cover letters – and have your referees address their letters
of reference – To Whom It May
Concern. You don’t want to let on that you care enough about this job – or that
your referees care enough about you – to write a personalized letter.
- Speak in the dullest monotone you can
muster. Your objective should be to put your audience to sleep within the
first few minutes of your presentation so that you can avoid any inconvenient
questions.
- Demonstrate contempt for the interviewer’s
questions. Most job-seekers will not resort to open contempt, but might
still betray contempt in subtle modifications of tone, facial expression, body
language or by not addressing the questions.
- Refuse to admit when you are wrong, or
its flip side: betray lack of confidence
in your statements. There is a line between confidence and being adamant.
- When asked about your future plans, talk exclusively
about your past work. This again is fairly common because many people don’t
have any significant ideas of their own. For an academic job, employers are
looking for evidence of independent thinking.
- Think small. You don’t want to be
caught displaying ambition or initiative. If you’re looking to be just another
cog in the wheel, this may be acceptable in some places, but many candidates we
considered lost out to others because of a failure to demonstrate initiative
and think ambitiously. Your internet research or informational interview should
have given you an indication of what is feasible and what you can expect in the
organization. Trying too hard to please does not work. Employers want to know: Is this really the job you want?
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